Parenting
Stuck? Lose Your Label!
Here’s a useful piece by Austin Kleon on How to Keep Going: 10 Ways to Stay Creative in Chaotic Times. I like #3 a lot: “Forget the noun, do the verb.” Calling yourself a “writer,” “artist,” “activist,” “scholar,” “entrepreneur,” or any other label can invite procrastination if you use that label perfectionistically. For example, if…
Read MoreParenting Is Not a Zero Sum Game!
From Evelyn Tsitas, an exceptionally useful blog post about what it took for her to write her thesis: Admit it, if you are a mother, there is always that nagging voice somewhere – yours or some critic – that says ‘intense focus and study at the expense of much of everything else in your life…
Read More“If You’ve Made Them Cry, You’ve Succeeded In Getting Your Point Across.”
A Success Academy charter school teacher was caught on film harshly criticizing and publicly humiliating a first grader. She literally tore the girl’s classwork into pieces and flung them aside! The school is claiming that the incident was an exception, both for this teacher and the system in general. However, there’s plenty of testimony that…
Read More“Her Face Went From Scowl to Peace”: 7 Secrets of the Prolific Helps Lifelong Procrastinator and Her 12-Year-Old Daughter
From the mailbag: I just wanted to thank you for putting together this comprehensive book. I’ve suffered from writers block/perfectionism my whole life, and once in a while I break through, but then get bogged down again. Your book confirmed some of the core discoveries I made overcoming my blocks, but has done so much…
Read MoreNew Articles on Procrastination and Perfectionism, and How to Help Your Kid Kick the Video Game Habit
Just posted new, updated sections on how to recognize and overcome Procrastination and Perfectionism. Please check them out! Also posted a new article called How to Help Your Kids Kick the Video Game Habit. It’s adapted from one I published a while back on the Psychology Today blog, andit will be useful to anyone (not…
Read MoreFather’s Day Post: Betty Ming Liu on Making Peace with an Authoritarian Father
Betty Ming Liu on making peace with her deceased dad: The war is over. Even though my father was a tyrant who made me miserable, I’ve fought hard to reclaim my life and get to happiness. So after all the years of weeping and blowing my nose at the shrink’s office, letting go is possible.…
Read MoreNew Parenthood Can Lead to Situational Perfectionism
A new parent writes to syndicated advice columnist Carolyn Hax about how stressful it can be: I’m a new mom of a pretty but challenging 6-month-old boy. I am a naturally decisive person; however, the anxiety I’m feeling over making the “right” decisions or providing him the “right” things has been difficult to cope with.…
Read MoreFor Kids: Fern’s Writers Block (from Arthur)
Note Fern’s situational perfectionism, caused by: *being told her story will be the “main event” at the next day’s Fiction Forum *being told a famous author will be there *being labeled as “creative.” Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck says that when you praise kids for attributes–by calling them, for instance, “smart” or “creative”–they freeze up, in…
Read MoreThe Right Way to Cope With Your Kid’s Perfectionism
Jules at Pancakes & French Fries writes about what she perceives to be the perfectionist tendencies her young son has inherited from her: Mikey inherited my drive for perfection. Last week I hung in the laundry room some of my favorite drawings the boys have made over the years. Nico doesn’t draw as well as…
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